Metro Cinema Society: Turkey Shoot 2011/12

Turkey Shoot 2011/12

Metro Cinema's monthly celebration of aesthetically challenged films. A live show hosted by Dave Clarke and Jeff Page (with special sarcastic guests).

Turkey Shoot: Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000

Director: Roger Christian

USA 2000, 118 min, Video

Sep 22 (2011) @ 9:30pm

A couple of years ago, Turkey Shoot honoured John Travolta's ego-driven version of L. Ron Hubbard's sci-fi novel, but mentally blocked it out. They remember cavemen piloting spaceships and Forest Whitaker as the Cowardly Lion with dreadlocks. Dave Clarke knows... view more

Turkey Shoot: Barbarella

Director: Roger Vadim

USA 1968, 98 min, Digital

Oct 13 (2011) @ 9:30pm

Before she was an Oscar winning actress, an anti-war activist, a billionaire media-mogul’s wife, and an aerobics dominatrix, Jane Fonda was Barbarella! Here’s IMDB’s synopsis: “In the far future, a highly sexual woman is tasked with finding and stopping the... view more

Turkey Shoot: The Happening

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

USA 2008, 92 min, Digital

Nov 24 (2011) @ 9:30pm

A dozen years after The Sixth Sense had that creepy little kid seeing dead people with (SPOILER ALERT!) hair pieces, M. Night Shyamalan has proven himself among the most confusing and boring filmmakers of his generation. He is at his... view more

Turkey Shoot: Santa Claus: The Movie

Director: Jeannot Szwarc

USA 1985, 107 min, Digital

Dec 22 (2011) @ 9:30pm

We've cooked up a big turkey for the holiday season. Dudley Moore - sometime between the comic classic _Arthur_ and the embarrassing _Blame it on the Bellboy_- dons the pointy hat and green tights to star as Patch the Elf.... view more

Turkey Shoot: Road House (Cancelled)

Director: Rowdy Herrington

USA 1989, 114 min, Digital

Jan 19 (2012) @ 9:30pm

Patrick Swayze is a bouncer. And a dancer. A dirty dancer. Wait, sorry, wrong movie. Swayze is a bouncer. Fighting a communist invasion in small town Colorado. Nope, not that one either. Swayze is a bouncer. In the Edmonton Mall!... view more

Turkey Shoot: Cool as Ice

Director: David Kellogg

USA 1991, 91 min, Digital

Feb 23 (2012) @ 9:30pm

When we ponder Vanilla Ice, we don’t think of James Dean. What the hell is he doing, then, in a remake of _Rebel Without a Cause_, the classic tale of teenage alienation and method acting? The original thrilled us with... view more

Turkey Shoot: Road House

Director: Rowdy Herrington

USA 1989, 114 min, Digital

Mar 29 (2012) @ 9:30pm

In January, a mysterious blackout forced us to cancel our viewing of this masculine masterpiece. We blame Swayze. More specifically, we blame Swayze from _Ghost_. Never frightened by hauntings, the Turkey Shoot Choir issues a challenge: Go ahead, ghost of... view more

Turkey Shoot: Commando

Director: Mark L. Lester

USA 1985, 90 min, Digital

Apr 25 (2012) @ 9:30pm

Can you believe that this is the first time we’ve honoured a movie featuring the Governator? Arnie plays John Matrix, a black ops commando with, wait for it, a KIDNAPPED DAUGHTER ! Before anybody can scream “Liam Neeson does it... view more

Turkey Shoot: Legend

Director: Ridley Scott

USA 1985, 94 min, Digital

May 24 (2012) @ 9:30pm

Tom Cruise returns to Turkey Shoot – in tights! Our decidedly perfect protagonist is on a magical hero’s quest to stop Tim Curry from destroying darkness and marrying a princess, although both are physically improbable. This movie is even more... view more

Turkey Shoot: Staying Alive

Director: Sylvestor Stallone

USA 1983, 93 min, Digital

Jun 28 (2012) @ 9:30pm

Somewhere between _First Blood_ and _Rhinestone_, Stallone dreamed of making it big on Broadway. So he resurrected Travolta, buffed him up and greased him down. Lost in the Miami Vice 80s and without any formal dance training beyond neighborhood disco... view more

Turkey Shoot: Catwoman

Director: Pitof

USA 2004, 104 min, Digital

Jul 26 (2012) @ 9:30pm

Halle Berry - Oscar winner, Bond girl, enigma. Three years after becoming the first African American woman to win the Academy Award for Best Actress, Halle teams with five screenwriters and a director known only as Pitof. This film is... view more

Turkey Shoot: Beneath the Planet of the Apes

Director: Ted Post

USA 1970, 95 min, Digital

Aug 26 (2012) @ 9pm

In this sci-fi sequel, James Franciscus has the unenviable task of trying to fill Charleton Heston’s loin cloth. To make matters more awkward for his loin cloth, he is accompanied everywhere by the stunning and silent Nova, last seen watching... view more